New Year, New Blog, New Perspective: 5 Personal, Reachable, Just-For-ME Goals for 2014!

photo credit to lawonders.net

It's a new year!! What a perfect time for a fresh start, a glam-fabulous new look for my blog, a new perspective on life, and a new angle for attacking this year with vigor and passion! But, unlike most years when I begin with a mile-long list of resolutions, I've decided this year really IS going to be different. This year, I've decided that I'm not doing resolutions, but goals instead. In my humble opinion, the word resolution implies that I must resolve to be better because I am not good enough, while the word goal implies that I have the urge to improve who and what I already am. So this year, instead of starting off with a list of things that need to be "fixed", I am starting out with a list of life enhancements, things that I am doing just for ME, to improve who I am as a person, to learn, grow and change, and to make myself the best me I can be, without feeling like it's because I'm not good enough. So take that list of resolutions!

Goal 1: Take Care of Me - Inside and Out

Much like the cliche resolution of dieting and exercising until you're that perfectly generic Barbie-doll size, my first goal is to take better care of myself and my family, inside and out. But, unlike the resolution that drives people down the usual Weight Watchers and Planet Fitness route, I'm more interested in making changes to be healthy and feel good MY way...and I'm certainly not doing it to fit into a specific size or to be able to display my washboard abs at the beach this summer. I can finally admit out loud and without shame: I HATE exercise of any shape or size, and I love my chocolate and cheese...and that's OK!!! So, rather than start the year by depriving myself of all the food and drink I love and forcing myself to work out, I'm making a lifestyle change that works for ME by measuring out healthier portions, making sure I indulge in moderation and finding ways that I enjoy to "exercise" (yes, in my world that means dancing around the house, I-think-I-got-moves-like-Jagger-seizure-style, while cleaning! Don't judge, you know you do it too!). Cheers to all you dieting, exercising mavens out there...I salute your energy and your drive, but I'll be sitting here enjoying my cheddar cheese and chocolate...in moderation of course.

Goal 2: Say What You Wanna Say...

Being Honest with Myself and Others

If there was anything that 2013 taught me, it was that sugar-coating a tough-situation doesn't make it better - for you or anyone else. I am the kind of person who has a hard time saying what I need to, mainly because I don't want to hurt other people's feelings, or because I am afraid to make myself vulnerable to criticism. My silence has never served me well, in fact, it has been a main component in transforming me into a doormat, aka that person that no one feels bad saying anything to, because they never stand up for themselves. This is something I have strived to overcome for many years, but as a notorious people-pleaser it's not an easy fix. It requires saying the difficult things, the honest things. It requires that you be honest with yourself as well as other people which is not simple task, but I am worth it! This phrase, in and of itself, is difficult for me to utter with any kind of seriousness, as I always tend to put others first, but we all need to take the time to remind ourselves that we are worth it! This year, I plan to put twice as much effort into making myself - and my thoughts and feelings - known and heard in a positive and constructive way. Hi, my name is Kelley, and today I feel...GOOD! :)

Goal 3: Look Ma, No Hands...Expanding My Creative Self

Anyone who knows me will instantly agree that I am a very creative person. I can sketch, paint, sculpt, write...you name something creative, I've probably tried it! But 2013 was a slow year when it came to letting my creativity flow. Personal struggles and unforeseen issues sapped my drive to do anything creative, and I let that part of myself go for a while. Rather than shed a tear over my formerly amazing creative self, I decided it's time to put on my big-girl panties, find my paintbrush and pastels and get back to it, so I dug out my art bag, canvases and brushes, chugged some coffee, and it's go time! 5 minutes of drawing or writing and I'm already smiling...who says change has to be painful? Hello creative self...nice to see ya again!

Goal 4: God, Are You There: 

Finding Something to Believe In that I am Passionate About

I have always been raised Christian. I was baptized, had my first communion, went through bible study, volunteered as an alter server, sang in my father's choir, and was married in the church my parents were married in. My religious history is made up of many years of family tradition: visiting the same church as my grandparents and great-grandparents, attending mass every Sunday and forming a Christmas children's choir every year with. But somewhere along the way, I started to have doubts. To wonder what it was about my religion that excited me, that lifted me up, that made me passionate. If I am going to believe in something bigger than myself, I want it to be something that enhances my life, that makes me feel renewed and passionate about my belief, and I have been struggling to find those things through Christianity. In recent years, I have found the religion to be very judgmental: to preach words of love, but not demonstrate them, damning people because of who they love, how they die, what they believe in, etc. If I am going to give an hour of my life to attend mass each week, I don't want to waste it hearing messages of love and acceptance just to walk out the door and look down on the couple down the street because it is two women holding hands. If you are supposed to "turn the other cheek" and love everyone, then why shun people who are gay simply because they love someone of the same sex? It makes them no less of a person, and makes their love no less real than mine. If man is meant to love then why, to be "good enough" to serve God as a priest or nun, must you forever relinquish your right and basic human need to feel a woman or man's touch, or to conceive your own child? It's questions like this that have led me to recently begin researching other religions; religions that focus more on accepting and treating everyone as equals despite their differences, that allow for human error, human needs and the basic rights that everyone enjoys, and religions that focus on building a more peaceful, centered, open-minded individual. My first project this year is to look into Buddhism and to integrate daily meditation to see how it shapes my life and how it makes me feel, and I'm actually excited to see what else the spiritual world has to offer, and how it could enhance my life.

Goal 5: Love More 

This goal is my favorite, and it's really the easiest one to accomplish. Love more. How hard can that be? Love yourself. Love your family, your friends, your pets...all those people who love your cheese-and-chocolate eating, non-exercising, goal-making, creatively focused ass! Love them so they won't even know what hit them, cause life is too short to love any less than you already do. So tomorrow, show yourself some love. Tell yourself you're beautiful, successful, smart, funny...amazing. Then go out and spread the love to others. Guaranteed you'll feel a billion times better instantly, and you'll get just as much love back as you give!

Now that the new year is here, what are your personal, reachable, just-for-you goals for 2014?!

Peace & Love